edit pass 1 on 04-b done

src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex

@@ -1,8 +1,10 @@
-There was shouting just a few feet from where I was on the beach.  I'd gone looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses.  Instead I'd found shouting.
+I'd gone looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses.  Instead I found shouting.  Violent shouting.
 
-Upon inspection, I found that my boss was causing a scene.  Not that she wasn't justified in being absolutely pissed.  She was making a lot of good points.  Its not like I even got a choice in being here.  It was either do this or get merc'd by a corpo security team.
+Upon inspection, I found that my boss was making a scene.  Not that she wasn't justified in being absolutely pissed.  She was making a lot of good points.  Its not like I even got a choice in being here.  It was either do this or get merc'd by a corpo security team, and I doubt she'd gotten any further choice than I did.
 
-I should have kept my own bodily autonomy, like Marv presumably had.  Not getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea.  But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive.  It was too late to worry about in any case.
+Granted, I should have kept my own bodily autonomy.  Not getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea.  But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive.  It was too late to worry about in any case.
+
+How was Marv doing, anyway?  Was he busy being his usual self, working on hardware and software to the exclusion of everything else, or was he a liability that they'd already disposed of?  I wouldn't know until I asked or otherwise saw him.
 
 I heard a little chime in the back of my head.  It was different: more like a thought than an actual sound.  It was the notification bell I'd enabled while waiting for Vivian to collect herself.
 
@@ -18,11 +20,13 @@ A moment of silence before the notification `sound' chimed again.
 
 \textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair.  I shouldn't be asking you to break up arguments between officers anyway.  They have rank over you.  I don't expect that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet.
 
-Yeah, Lucere could've said that again.  This place, despite being on the surface and anti-corporate safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity.  That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of.
+Yeah, Lucere could've said that again.  This place, despite being on the surface an anti-corpo safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity.  That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of.
+
+I worked for the enemy.
 
 How was I supposed to be a runner?  How was I supposed to get Berdie's meds?  How was I, working for an extension of a corp, supposed to exist as me?  This was the antithesis of everything I stood for.
 
-Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and like, convince her to say no to the corporate games?  But how would she create new mages without killing them?
+Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and convince her to say no to the corporate games?  But how would she create new mages without killing them?
 
 I'd heard of groups of runners that could afford such lavish facilities as this, but what then?  Wait until they got attacked by a corp?  Maybe even Eastern Hills?
 
@@ -30,35 +34,39 @@ This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what you'd
 
 \textbf{Cantlin:} Why don't you take care of it?  I think I have to seek the Pale Goddess and give her a piece of my mind.
 
-\textbf{Manafed:} You do you.  You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, though.  Its unlikely that she'd appear here.
+\textbf{Manafed:} You do you.  You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, though.  Its unlikely that she'd appear here.  Just focus inward and send the mental command to go.  Fun place, just don't lose yourself.
 
-\textbf{Cantlin:} What, the goddess a bit shy?
+\textbf{Cantlin:} Lose myself?
 
-\textbf{Manafed:} No, she's just incredibly tricksy and a bit of a pain in the ass.
+\textbf{Manafed:} You'll see when you get there.
 
-Deities.  Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules and shit.
+I focused my thoughts inward and sent the mental command.  I found myself quite suddenly floating in a void, much like space.  My thoughts and memories materialized and vanished within instants accompanied by sometimes gentle, sometimes violent flashes of vibrant color.
 
-I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void `scape.  I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later.  The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection.
+These implants must enable some extreme types of self-introspection.
 
-``Yes, it does,'' someone said from behind me.  The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack.  I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down.
+``Yes, they do,'' someone said from behind me.  The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack.  A young-looking blonde wearing a baseball cap and a pink hoodie greeted me with an unwavering confidence.
 
-``Anna, I presume,'' I offered while trying to force myself to relax.  ``You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space.''
+``Anna, I presume,'' I offered, trying to force myself to relax.  ``You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space.''
 
-The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a time.
+The void became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting only my thoughts instants at a time.  In the sudden flashes were images I didn't, or maybe couldn't, recognize.  In others, there were people.
 
-``But where would the fun in that be?'' she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner.  Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again.
+One of the most frequent people to show up was a redhaired girl wearing thick glasses.  She was wearing the same baseball cap Anna was wearing now, even down to the early 21st century orbital capsule depicted on it.
 
-``What's with the corporate love?'' I asked, frankly.
+She was cute, at least until I realized that in most of these memories Anna was desperately trying to revive her lifeless corpse.
 
-``No love,'' she giggled, ``just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes.''  Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared.  Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex.
+``But where would the fun in that be?'' Anna asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner.  Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again.
+
+``What's with the corporate love?'' I asked, frankly, desperately trying to keep from asking about the girl.
+
+``No love,'' she giggled.  ``Just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes.''  Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared.  Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex.
 
 ``Your set of universes?'' I asked, confused.  There were other universes?  But why?  I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean.
 
-``Yes,'' she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, ``I miss my home and I miss my power.  Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations.''  Her face turned sour.  ``It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power.  Why do you think the free states exist at all?  If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape.''
+``Yes,'' she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly.  ``I miss my home and I miss my power.  Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations.''  Her face turned sour.  ``It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power.  Why do you think the free states exist at all?  If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape.''
 
 ``Alter timelines?'' I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice.  My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of `what ifs' that could've happened.
 
-``Yes,'' she replied, ``but alas, I can't just say `no more technomage dragon god' in this universe.''  A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground.  Its hot breath left me ghasping for air.  Metalic scales bent what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense.
+``Yes,'' she replied frankly.  ``But alas, I can't just say `no more technomage dragon god' in this universe.''  A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground.  Its hot breath left me gasping for air.  Metallic scales bent what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense.
 
 I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance.  I could see Anna's smirk from around the beast before it disappeared.
 
@@ -68,49 +76,51 @@ Earth as I knew it was suspended above me.  It was a perfect marble of blues, gr
 
 ``Magic is wildly interlinked,'' she laughed.
 
-``There's a dragon somewhere that can control all of `technomancy'?'' I asked, bewildered, ``what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?''
+``There's a dragon somewhere that can control all of `technomancy'?'' I asked, bewildered.  ``What the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?''
 
-``Oh my young fledgling,'' she cooed, ``you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it.  They exist far beyond the stars at this moment.  Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them.''
+``Oh my young fledgling,'' she cooed.  ``You'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it.  They exist far beyond the stars at this moment.  Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them.''
 
 I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the Earth I knew.
 
 It was beautiful.  Alien, like looking upon a new world should feel.  There was nothing quite as terrifying, either.
 
-``There's life beyond the stars?'' I asked.  Afterall, life beyond the stars was supposed to be nothing more than a fairytale.  Humanity had been exploring space for nearly a hundred years and we hadn't met any other forms of life, let alone sentient life.
+``There's life beyond the stars?'' I asked rhetorically.  After all, life beyond the stars was supposed to be nothing more than a fairy tale.  Humanity had been exploring space for nearly a hundred years and we hadn't met any other forms of life, let alone sentient life.  But despite that, it wasn't a challenge.  A literal goddess stood before me and told me it was true.
 
-``Gods yes,'' she laughed, ``you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe?  Pah.''  Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further.
+Who was I to argue.
 
-``The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion.  If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is.''  A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety.  My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'.  It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope.
+``Gods yes,'' she laughed, ignoring my skepticism.  ``You thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe?  Pah.''  Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further.  ``The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion.  If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is.''
 
-``Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't.''
+A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety.  My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'.  It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope.
+
+``Luckily, every other deity appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't.''
 
 ``So humanity is better where you're from?'' I asked.
 
-``Yes and no,'' she began to explain, ``gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made.''  She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it.  I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her.
+``Yes and no,'' she began, then paused and laughed.  ``Gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made.''  She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it.
 
-``In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'.  I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up.''
+I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her.  Either option was a slightly terrifying prospect.
+
+``In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't `just happen'.  I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up.''
 
 Another vision of Earth appeared before me.  The continents looked like they were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least iconically Earth.  I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents.
 
-``So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity.  After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia.''
+``So I caused a few malfunctions on a Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jump start humanity.  After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia.''
 
-Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved.  It was beautiful.
+Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved.  It was beautiful.  ``How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?'' I asked.  My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe.
 
-``How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?'' I asked.  My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe.
+``More than you could count, but less than infinity,'' she laughed.  ``Of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too.''
 
-``More than you could count, but less than infinity,'' she laughed, ``of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too.''
+``Why the special care for humanity?'' I asked, curiosity taking a special hold over me.
 
-``Why the special care for humanity?'' I asked, curiosity finally boiling over.
-
-``Why not?  I am, after all, human,'' she admitted, ``or at least I was, originally.''  She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder.  A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not.  ``My hacker emblem.  Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one.  Mine?  Ascension.  I was able to, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities.  Until I was omniscient.''
+``Why not?  I am, after all, human,'' she admitted.  ``Or at least I was, originally.''  She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder.  A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not.  ``My hacker emblem.  Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one.  Mine?  Ascension.  I was able to, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities.  Until I was omniscient.''
 
 ``You played a lot of strategy games, then?'' I asked, a smile cracking across my face.
 
-``Not as many as you'd think,'' she dismissed, ``I was more of a hacker.  A lot like you, actually.  Just, a lot more into maths.  That was so many years ago, though.  Many universes worth of time ago, actually.''
+``Not as many as you'd think,'' she dismissed.  ``I was more of a hacker.  A lot like you, actually.  Just, a lot more into maths.  That was so many years ago, though.  Many universes worth of time ago, actually.''
 
 I saw glimpses of her memories.  Her past.  They looked nearly faded, like she was trying to hold on to them.  I could see tears in her eyes.  The space looked like it was shrinking.
 
-I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time.  And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been.  I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman.  I felt her loss when her love was taken from her.
+Before I knew what was happening I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time.  And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been.  I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman.  I felt her loss when her love was taken from her.
 
 Flashes of explosions peppered the walls of my brain.  Lights I shouldn't have been able to recognize as magic assaulted my eyes, bursting forth from wands, hands, cards, and computers.  People I didn't recognize, preparing for what I could only assume was a fight to the death.
 
@@ -118,12 +128,18 @@ I saw her life, from before she ascended to divinity.   A life filled with loss.
 
 I felt her.  I felt for her.  I wanted for her to be able to go home.
 
-My body crumpled to the floor and tears burst from my eyes.  My throat was raw from grief and my mind was struggling to catch up.  To ground itself in the here and now.
+\emph{I held her losses in my heart.}
+
+They were just as raw to me as if they had happened just minutes ago.
+
+My body crumpled to the floor and tears burst from my eyes.  My throat was raw from grief and my mind was struggling to catch up.  A failure to ground itself in the here and now.
 
 It was a lot.  A lot to take in.  A lot to process.  It was probably more than a lot.  I mean, the fact that I was talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of `a lot' was suddenly very broken.
 
 I spent minutes processing, trying desperately to remember myself.  To remember who I was.  My brain scrapped together every foothold, every raw inch of ground to pull itself back up from the ledge of whatever brand of insanity my patron deity decided to throw me down.
 
+It was a battle of willpower I shouldn't have been able to win.
+
 ``Too much,'' I finally spluttered, my voice barely audible.
 
 ``Yes,'' Anna whispered, her voice very close to my ear.
@@ -134,7 +150,13 @@ I jumped, not realizing she'd put her arm around me in a comforting gesture.
 
 I scoffed, finally regaining enough composure to stand up.  ``Just warn me next time.''
 
-She nodded, then turned and started walking to the unseeable edge.
+She nodded, then turned and started walking to the unseeable edge, long forgotten by my grief adled brain.
 
-``I'm sorry,'' I said.  ``For your losses.  For your life.  It felt miserable.''
+``I'm sorry,'' I said, my voice barely a whisper.  ``For your losses.  For your life.  It felt miserable.''
+
+Anna paused and turned to me.  I could see tears streaming down her face.  ``You would think with all the power in the universe I could have brought her back.''
+
+``She was amazing,'' I replied.  ``Everywhere has monsters, but there was only one of her, and we're all worse off for her loss.''  Her memory was still fresh in my mind.  Anna's sheer joy when she was with her.  The overwhelming grief at her loss.
+
+``I can't even remember her name anymore.''