diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex index 544126d..a3c7990 100644 --- a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ I thought up a quick reply and sent if off. \textbf{Cantlin:} Viv is making some good points and I'm not sure I should interrupt the angry boss woman. She's got a lot on her mind and y'all haven't exactly been helpful to her it sounds like. -A moment of silence before the notification 'sound' chimed again. +A moment of silence before the notification `sound' chimed again. \textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair. I shouldn't be asking you to break up arguments between officers anyway. They have rank over you. I don't expect that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet. @@ -38,107 +38,103 @@ This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what you'd Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules and shit. -I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void 'scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection. +I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void `scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection. -"Yes, it does," someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down. +``Yes, it does,'' someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down. -"Anna, I presume," I offered as I forced myself to relax. "You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space." +``Anna, I presume,'' I offered while trying to force myself to relax. ``You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space.'' The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a time. -"But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. +``But where would the fun in that be?'' she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. -"What's with the corporate love?" I asked, frankly. +``What's with the corporate love?'' I asked, frankly. -"No love," she giggled, "just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes." Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. +``No love,'' she giggled, ``just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes.'' Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. -"Your set of universes?" I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean. +``Your set of universes?'' I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean. -"Yes," she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, "I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations." Her face turned sour. "It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape." +``Yes,'' she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, ``I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations.'' Her face turned sour. ``It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape.'' -"Alter timelines?" I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of 'what ifs' that could have happened. +``Alter timelines?'' I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of `what ifs' that could've happened. -"Yes," she replied, "but alas, I can't just say 'no more technomage dragon god' in this universe." A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Its metalic scales bending what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. +``Yes,'' she replied, ``but alas, I can't just say `no more technomage dragon god' in this universe.'' A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Metalic scales bent what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance. I could see Anna's smirk from around the beast before it disappeared. -"By the way," Anna continued, "I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked that one up one too many times in my own timeline." +``By the way,'' Anna continued, ``I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked that one up one too many times in my own timeline.'' Earth as I knew it was suspended above me. It was a perfect marble of blues, greens, and whites. As I watched it, it slowly turned more red, the oceans dried and the clouds thinned. -"Magic is wildly interlinked," she laughed. +``Magic is wildly interlinked,'' she laughed. -"There's a dragon somewhere that can control all 'technomancy'?" I asked, bewildered, "what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?" +``There's a dragon somewhere that can control all of `technomancy'?'' I asked, bewildered, ``what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?'' -"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them." +``Oh my young fledgling,'' she cooed, ``you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them.'' I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the Earth I knew. -"There's life beyond the stars?" I asked, I didn't think I could be any more alarmed, but it seemed my patron deity was just dropping bombshell after bombshell on my fragile psyche. +It was beautiful. Alien, like looking upon a new world should feel. There was nothing quite as terrifying, either. -"Gods yes," she laughed, "you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah." Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. +``There's life beyond the stars?'' I asked. Afterall, life beyond the stars was supposed to be nothing more than a fairytale. Humanity had been exploring space for nearly a hundred years and we hadn't met any other forms of life, let alone sentient life. -"The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is." A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. +``Gods yes,'' she laughed, ``you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah.'' Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. -"Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't." +``The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is.'' A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. -"So humanity is better where you're from?" I asked. +``Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't.'' -"Yes and no," she began to explain, "gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made." She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. +``So humanity is better where you're from?'' I asked. -"In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up." +``Yes and no,'' she began to explain, ``gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made.'' She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. + +``In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up.'' Another vision of Earth appeared before me. The continents looked like they were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least iconically Earth. I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents. -"So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia." +``So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia.'' Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was beautiful. -"How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?" I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. +``How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?'' I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. -"More than you could count, but less than infinity," she laughed, "of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too." +``More than you could count, but less than infinity,'' she laughed, ``of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too.'' -"Why the special care for humanity?" I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. +``Why the special care for humanity?'' I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. -"Why not? I am, after all, human," she admitted, "or at least I was, originally." She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. "My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to um, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient." +``Why not? I am, after all, human,'' she admitted, ``or at least I was, originally.'' She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. ``My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient.'' -"You played a lot of strategy games, then?" I asked, a smile cracking across my face. +``You played a lot of strategy games, then?'' I asked, a smile cracking across my face. -"Not as many as you'd think," she dismissed, "I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually." +``Not as many as you'd think,'' she dismissed, ``I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually.'' I saw glimpses of her memories. Her past. They looked nearly faded, like she was trying to hold on to them. I could see tears in her eyes. The space looked like it was shrinking. -I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her casual indifference from her first kiss from a man. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. +I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. -I \emph{felt} her. What it was to be her before she ascended. Before I could feel any more, whatever connection let me feel her feelings faded. +Flashes of explosions peppered the walls of my brain. Lights I shouldn't have been able to recognize as magic assaulted my eyes, bursting forth from wands, hands, cards, and computers. People I didn't recognize, preparing for what I could only assume was a fight to the death. -That was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. That was a lot. I mean, the fact that I was sitting there talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of 'a lot' was suddenly very broken. +I saw her life, from before she ascended to divinity. A life filled with loss. A life she'd never been able to enjoy. -My mind wandered back around to why I wanted to talk to her in the first place, not wanting to unpack all of the information that was just dumped on me. "So why don't we split from the corp now that we are clearly big enough?" +I felt her. I felt for her. I wanted for her to be able to go home. -"Oh," she laughed, "quite the topic change. Um, currently we're actually in the process, but really it comes down to ensuring that the Free State here still exists. Eastern Hills is under constant pressure from Tamaki, under my direction mind you, to keep other corps in the area in check. We leave and the entire area will be 'up for grabs' in the eyes of the corps." +My body crumpled to the floor and tears burst from my eyes. My throat was raw from grief and my mind was struggling to catch up. To ground itself in the here and now. -"So a bit of a catch-22, then?" I asked, pondering the politics that corps play with eachother. +It was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. It was probably more than a lot. I mean, the fact that I was talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of `a lot' was suddenly very broken. -"Yeah," she replied, "I'd opt for an all out revolution from the people living here, but that would cost more blood and life than its worth." +I spent minutes processing, trying desperately to remember myself. To remember who I was. My brain scrapped together every foothold, every raw inch of ground to pull itself back up from the ledge of whatever brand of insanity my patron deity decided to throw me down. -"So living in a Free State, despite the massive corps exerting their power anyway, is preferable to letting the citizens decide?" +``Too much,'' I finally spluttered, my voice barely audible. -"No," she laughed, "but they wouldn't get a say in any case. The corps have more power, money, and resources. They would simply wipe any opposition out. Or, as is tried and true, and much much cheaper, run psyops until other citizens removed the opposition for them. Takes a little longer, but they already control the media, so ultimately it cuts the cost by a lot." +``Yes,'' Anna whispered, her voice very close to my ear. -So she was saying its better to live in a facade of equality than to live in an open tyrany. I wasn't sure I agreed, but I'd think on it more later. I sighed and slumped down as I realized I had an absolute tonne of information to unpack and process later. +I jumped, not realizing she'd put her arm around me in a comforting gesture. -"Looks like I gave you too much at once," Anna said laxidasically. "Maybe you should head back to the party and be with others. You have definitely been winning friends." +``I'm sorry,'' she said. ``I forget how fragile the human mind is.'' -"No winning about friendship," I stated, "friendships are bonds that are forged. They aren't won. Competition in this context simply doesn't make sense." +I scoffed, finally regaining enough composure to stand up. ``Just warn me next time.'' -"Fair, but my point still stands," she giggled playfully. Again, treating me like I was a pawn in a game. I didn't like it. +She nodded, then turned and started walking to the unseeable edge. -"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings just as real as yours, and we shouldn't be played with." - -She gave me a puzzled look before realizing that my mindspace was becoming more violent in its shifting thoughts. She nodded and was gone in an instant. - -Some goddess. Using people for playthings to enact her will in the world. At least she was a lot more limited here than wherever the hell she came from. And to be using us to get home was simply shameful. - -I finally slumped down and cried, the space reflecting my suddenly deteriorating facade of composure. Maybe this was a good way to get introspection on myself. Maybe it was a decent way to disappear forever, forgetting the outside world. +``I'm sorry,'' I said. ``For your losses. For your life. It felt miserable.''