From 3d54345fcc6ab1ea4fa8e41e6863460e535bc812 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Kararou Ren Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2022 16:45:31 -0700 Subject: [PATCH 1/7] start on 04-b --- src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex | 67 ++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 67 insertions(+) create mode 100644 src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex new file mode 100644 index 0000000..13635dd --- /dev/null +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -0,0 +1,67 @@ +There was shouting just a few feet from where I was on the beach. I'd gone +looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses. Instead +I'd found shouting. + +Upon inspection, I found that my boss was causing a scene. Not that she wasn't +justified in being absolutely pissed. She was making a lot of good points. +Its not like I even got a choice in being here. It was either do this or get +merc'd by a corpo security team. + +I should have kept my own bodily autonomy, like Marv presumably had. Not +getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea. +But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive. It was too late to worry about in +any case. + +I heard a little chime in the back of my head. It was different: more like a +thought than an actual sound. It was the notification bell I'd enabled while +waiting for Vivian to collect herself. + +I opened the messaging application. + +\textbf{Manafed:} Can you deescalate that? You're closer and I can see that +Vivian already trusts you a lot more than me. + +I thought up a quick reply and sent if off. + +\textbf{Cantlin:} Viv is making some good points and I'm not sure I should +interrupt the angry boss woman. She's got a lot on her mind and y'all haven't +exactly been helpful to her it sounds like. + +A moment of silence before the notification 'sound' chimed again. + +\textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair. I shouldn't be asking you to break up +arguments between officers anyway. They have rank over you. I don't expect +that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet. + +Yeah, Lucere could've said that again. This place, despite being on the +surface and anti-corporate safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity. +That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of. + +How was I supposed to be a runner? How was I supposed to get Berdie's meds? +How was I, working for an extension of a corp, supposed to exist as me? This +was the antithesis of everything I stood for. + +Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and like, convince her to +say no to the corporate games? But how would she create new mages without +killing them? + +I'd heard of groups of runners that could afford such lavish facilities as +this, but what then? Wait until they got attacked by a corp? Maybe even +Eastern Hills? + +This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what +you'd expect. Nor what you could immediately think of, for that matter. + +\textbf{Cantlin:} Why don't you take care of it? I think I have to seek the +Pale Goddess and give her a piece of my mind. + +\textbf{Manafed:} You do you. You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, +though. Its unlikely that she'd appear here. + +\textbf{Cantlin:} What, the goddess a bit shy? + +\textbf{Manafed:} No, she's just incredibly tricksy and a bit of a pain in the +ass. + +Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules. + From d798d6bb0aadfe984208d3c089ff29709010513c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Ren Kararou Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2022 20:14:14 -0700 Subject: [PATCH 2/7] I'm not sure if I should be pleased with this --- src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex | 150 ++++++++++++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 149 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex index 13635dd..4428888 100644 --- a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -63,5 +63,153 @@ though. Its unlikely that she'd appear here. \textbf{Manafed:} No, she's just incredibly tricksy and a bit of a pain in the ass. -Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules. +Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules and shit. + +I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void +'scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing +again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of +self-introspection. + +"Yes, it does," someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked +pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking +blonde floating upside down. + +"Anna, I presume," I offered as I forced myself to relax. "You could warn a +girl before just barging into her head-space." + +"But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in a +playful manner. + +"What's with the corporate love?" I asked, frankly. + +"No love," she giggled, "just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' +plans so I can go back to my set of universes." + +"Your set of universes?" I asked, confused. There were other universes? But +why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near +exploring what that might mean. + +"Yes," she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, "I miss my home and I +miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird +limitations." Her face turned sour. "It means I can't just alter timelines to +get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do +you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations +would rule every inch of this hellscape." + +"Alter timelines?" I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. + +"Yes," she replied, "but alas, I can't just say 'no more technomage dragon god' +in this universe. By the way, I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least +she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in +this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked +that one up one too many times in my own timeline." + +"There's a dragon somewhere that can control all 'technomancy'?" I asked, +bewildered, "what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?" + +"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet one. They +exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your +universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them." + +"There's life beyond the stars?" I asked, I didn't think I could be any more +alarmed, but it seemed my patron deity was just dropping bombshell after +bombshell on my fragile psyche. + +"Gods yes," she laughed, "you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' +universe? Pah. The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity +into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through +space-time, that is. Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the +stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't." + +"So humanity is better where you're from?" I asked, suddenly relieved that +humanity was at least doing better in some other universe. + +"Yes and no," she began to explain, "gods above, I haven't talked about my own +origins in this much detail since the first mage I made." She materialized a +chair next to me and lounged in it. + +"In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, +humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the +beginning to the end, humanity never showed up. So I caused a few malfunctions +on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart +humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power +and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had +setup a true utopia. + +"How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?" I +asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through. + +"More than you could count, but less than infinity," she laughed, "of course, +that's a lot less than I thought, too." + +"Why the special care for humanity?" I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. + +"Why not? I am, after all, human," she admitted, "or at least I was, +originally." She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A +grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. "My hacker emblem. Someone +who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was +able to um, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my +abilities. Until I was omniscient." + +"You played a lot of strategy games, then?" I asked, a smile cracking across my +face. + +"Not as many as you'd think," she dismissed, "I was more of a hacker. A lot +like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, +though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually." + +That was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. That was a lot. I mean, +the fact that I was sitting there talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, +so I suppose my idea of 'a lot' was suddenly very broken. + +My mind wandered back around to why I wanted to talk to her in the first place, +not wanting to unpack all of the information that was just dumped on me. "So +why don't we split from the corp now that we are clearly big enough?" + +"Oh," she laughed, "quite the topic change. Um, currently we're actually in +the process, but really it comes down to ensuring that the Free State here +still exists. Eastern Hills is under constant pressure from Tamaki, under my +direction mind you, to keep other corps in the area in check. We leave and the +entire area will be 'up for grabs' in the eyes of the corps." + +"So a bit of a catch-22, then?" I asked, pondering the politics that corps play +with eachother. + +"Yeah," she replied, "I'd opt for an all out revolution from the people living +here, but that would cost more blood and life than its worth." + +"So living in a Free State, despite the massive corps exerting their power +anyway, is preferable to letting the citizens decide?" + +"No," she laughed, "but they wouldn't get a say in any case. The corps have +more power, money, and resources. They would simply wipe any opposition out. +Or, as is tried and true, and much much cheaper, run psyops until other +citizens removed the opposition for them. Takes a little longer, but they +already control the media, so ultimately it cuts the cost by a lot." + +So she was saying its better to live in a facade of equality than to live in an +open tyrany. I wasn't sure I agreed, but I'd think on it more later. I sighed +and slumped down as I realized I had an absolute tonne of information to unpack +and process later. + +"Looks like I gave you too much at once," Anna said laxidasically. "Maybe you +should head back to the party and be with others. You have definitely been +winning friends." + +"No winning about friendship," I stated, "friendships are bonds that are +forged. They aren't won. Competition in this context simply doesn't make +sense." + +"Fair, but my point still stands," she giggled playfully. Again, treating me +like I was a pawn in a game. I didn't like it. + +"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings, and we shouldn't be played +with." + +She gave me a puzzled look before realizing that my mindspace was becoming more +violent in its shifting thoughts. She nodded and was gone in an instant. + +Some goddess. Using people for playthings to enact her will in the world. At +least she was a lot more limited here than wherever the hell she came from. +And to be using us to get home was simply shameful. From 56b6677eeb98c715f4947ceaae8ed0cb3a3d476b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Ren Kararou Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2022 23:26:57 -0700 Subject: [PATCH 3/7] that was something. Please help. --- src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex | 98 +++++++++++++++++++----- 1 file changed, 77 insertions(+), 21 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex index 4428888..0055c53 100644 --- a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -77,13 +77,18 @@ blonde floating upside down. "Anna, I presume," I offered as I forced myself to relax. "You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space." +The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a +time. + "But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in a -playful manner. +playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before +disappearing again. "What's with the corporate love?" I asked, frankly. "No love," she giggled, "just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' -plans so I can go back to my set of universes." +plans so I can go back to my set of universes." Vast trees of light sprouted +and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. "Your set of universes?" I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near @@ -97,47 +102,81 @@ you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape." "Alter timelines?" I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. +My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, +showing me all sorts of 'what ifs' that could have happened. "Yes," she replied, "but alas, I can't just say 'no more technomage dragon god' -in this universe. By the way, I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least +in this universe." A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me +to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Its metalic scales +bending what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. + +I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance. I could see Anna's smirk from +around the beast before it disappeared. + +"By the way," Anna continued, "I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked that one up one too many times in my own timeline." +Earth as I knew it was suspended above me. It was a perfect marble of blues, +greens, and whites. As I watched it, it slowly turned more red, the oceans +dried and the clouds thinned. + +"Magic is wildly interlinked," she laughed. + "There's a dragon somewhere that can control all 'technomancy'?" I asked, bewildered, "what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?" -"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet one. They -exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your -universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them." +"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet someone who +can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the +expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to +meet them." + +I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the +Earth I knew. "There's life beyond the stars?" I asked, I didn't think I could be any more alarmed, but it seemed my patron deity was just dropping bombshell after bombshell on my fragile psyche. "Gods yes," she laughed, "you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' -universe? Pah. The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity -into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through -space-time, that is. Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the -stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't." +universe? Pah." Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by +before Anna explained further. -"So humanity is better where you're from?" I asked, suddenly relieved that -humanity was at least doing better in some other universe. +"The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If +they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is." A +spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain +latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd +hope. + +"Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: +don't let them touch anything they already haven't." + +"So humanity is better where you're from?" I asked. "Yes and no," she began to explain, "gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made." She materialized a -chair next to me and lounged in it. +chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my +mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. "In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the -beginning to the end, humanity never showed up. So I caused a few malfunctions -on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart -humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power -and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had -setup a true utopia. +beginning to the end, humanity never showed up." + +Another vision of Earth appeared before me. The continents looked like they +were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least +iconically Earth. I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents. + +"So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them +on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge +the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally +populated by humans that had setup a true utopia." + +Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was +beautiful. "How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?" I -asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through. +asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. "More than you could count, but less than infinity," she laughed, "of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too." @@ -158,6 +197,18 @@ face. like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually." +I saw glimpses of her memories. Her past. They looked nearly faded, like she +was trying to hold on to them. I could see tears in her eyes. The space +looked like it was shrinking. + +I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever +been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another +woman. I felt her casual indifference from her first kiss from a man. I felt +her loss when her love was taken from her. + +I \emph{felt} her. What it was to be her before she ascended. Before I could +feel any more, whatever connection let me feel her feelings faded. + That was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. That was a lot. I mean, the fact that I was sitting there talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of 'a lot' was suddenly very broken. @@ -203,8 +254,8 @@ sense." "Fair, but my point still stands," she giggled playfully. Again, treating me like I was a pawn in a game. I didn't like it. -"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings, and we shouldn't be played -with." +"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings just as real as yours, and we +shouldn't be played with." She gave me a puzzled look before realizing that my mindspace was becoming more violent in its shifting thoughts. She nodded and was gone in an instant. @@ -213,3 +264,8 @@ Some goddess. Using people for playthings to enact her will in the world. At least she was a lot more limited here than wherever the hell she came from. And to be using us to get home was simply shameful. +I finally slumped down and cried, the space reflecting my suddenly +deteriorating facade of composure. Maybe this was a good way to get +introspection on myself. Maybe it was a decent way to disappear forever, +forgetting the outside world. + From f5d745c4a74a54a4babff81a0bb34202bfe6473e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Ren Kararou Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2022 21:30:43 -0500 Subject: [PATCH 4/7] taking a strong stance on tabs vs spaces, and somehow the one I didn't expect --- src/main.tex | 166 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++------------------------- 1 file changed, 85 insertions(+), 81 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/main.tex b/src/main.tex index cbd95a0..4fd746c 100644 --- a/src/main.tex +++ b/src/main.tex @@ -27,28 +27,28 @@ % Macros \newcommand{\mkchap}[3]{ - \newpage - \vspace*{3in} - \addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{#1 - #2} - \begin{center} - Chapter #1 + \newpage + \vspace*{3in} + \addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{#1 - #2} + \begin{center} + Chapter #1 - #2 - - {\small #3} - \end{center} - \vspace{0.5in} + #2 + + {\small #3} + \end{center} + \vspace{0.5in} } %%% \mkinfo %%% used as \mkinfo{name}{pronouns}{address}{phone}{email} \newcommand{\mkinfo}[5]{ - \begin{flushleft} - \singlespacing - #1 (#2)\newline - #3\newline - #4\newline - #5 - \end{flushleft} + \begin{flushleft} + \singlespacing + #1 (#2)\newline + #3\newline + #4\newline + #5 + \end{flushleft} } %%% \mktitle %%% used as @@ -57,88 +57,92 @@ %%% {address}{phone}{email}% %%% {wc} \newcommand{\mktitle}[9]{ - \begin{titlepage} - \mkinfo{#4}{#5}{#6}{#7}{#8} - \center - \vspace*{3in} - #1 + \begin{titlepage} + \mkinfo{#4}{#5}{#6}{#7}{#8} + \center + \vspace*{3in} + #1 - by #2 + by #2 - \vspace{1in} - - {\tiny - As compiled from \LaTeX source on \today. + \vspace{1in} - A copy of the source can be found at: + {\tiny + As compiled from \LaTeX source on \today. - #3 - } - \vspace{\fill} - \center #9 words - \end{titlepage} + A copy of the source can be found at: + + #3 + } + \vspace{\fill} + \center #9 words + \end{titlepage} } \newcommand{\mkack}{ - \newpage - \vspace*{3in} - \addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{Acknowledgements} - \begin{center} - Acknowledgements - \end{center} - \vspace{0.5in} - \subfile{src/ack} + \newpage + \vspace*{3in} + \addcontentsline{toc}{chapter}{Acknowledgements} + \begin{center} + Acknowledgements + \end{center} + \vspace{0.5in} + \subfile{src/ack} } % Document \begin{document} \begin{doublespacing} - \mktitle{PROJECT}{PENNAME}% - {REPO}% - {LEGALNAME}{PRONOUNS}% - {STREETADDR\newline% - LASTADDR}{PHONE}% - {EMAIL}% - {WORDCOUNT} + \mktitle{PROJECT}{PENNAME}% + {REPO}% + {LEGALNAME}{PRONOUNS}% + {STREETADDR\newline% + LASTADDR}{PHONE}% + {EMAIL}% + {WORDCOUNT} - \setcounter{page}{1} - - % canon worthy - \mkchap{0x00}{The Last Normal Day}{19 July 2158 - 0321} - \textbf{Talon:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/00-a-lastnormalday} - \newpage - \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/00-b-lastnormalday} - - \mkchap{0x01}{Corporate Takeover}{20 July 2158 - 1745} - \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/01-a-corporatetakeover} + \setcounter{page}{1} - \mkchap{0x02}{The Ceremony}{20 July 2158 - 0043} - \textbf{Talon:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/01-b-ceremony} + % canon worthy + \mkchap{0x00}{The Last Normal Day}{19 July 2158 - 0321} + \textbf{Talon:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/00-a-lastnormalday} + \newpage + \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/00-b-lastnormalday} - \mkchap{0x03}{The View}{20 July 2158 - 1012} - \textbf{Talon:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/02-a-theview} - \newpage - \textbf{Eilidh:} - \subfile{src/chapters/02-b-theview} + \mkchap{0x01}{Corporate Takeover}{20 July 2158 - 1745} + \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/01-a-corporatetakeover} - \mkchap{0x04}{Headache}{21 July 2158 - 1903} - \textbf{Talon:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/03-a-headache} + \mkchap{0x02}{The Ceremony}{20 July 2158 - 0043} + \textbf{Talon:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/01-b-ceremony} - \mkchap{0x05}{Quick Time Actions}{21 July 2158 - 1911} - \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/03-b-quicktimeactions} + \mkchap{0x03}{The View}{20 July 2158 - 1012} + \textbf{Talon:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/02-a-theview} + \newpage + \textbf{Eilidh:} + \subfile{src/chapters/02-b-theview} - \mkchap{0x06}{A New Feeling}{21 July 2158 - 1932} - \textbf{Vivian:}\newline - \subfile{src/chapters/04-a-newfeeling} + \mkchap{0x04}{Headache}{21 July 2158 - 1903} + \textbf{Talon:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/03-a-headache} -% Need acknowledgements before enabling this. -% \mkack + \mkchap{0x05}{Quick Time Actions}{21 July 2158 - 1911} + \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/03-b-quicktimeactions} + + \mkchap{0x06}{A New Feeling}{21 July 2158 - 1932} + \textbf{Vivian:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapters/04-a-newfeeling} + + \mkchap{0x07}{Monsters Everywhere}{21 July 2158 - 2003} + \textbf{Eilidh:}\newline + \subfile{src/chapter/04-b-monsterseverywhere} + +% Need acknowledgements before enabling this. +% \mkack \end{doublespacing} \end{document} From 57733357e52dc0340b7ceaee1c707b70dc3c8cb3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Ren Kararou Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2022 21:35:09 -0500 Subject: [PATCH 5/7] fix formatting --- src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex | 253 ++++++----------------- 1 file changed, 63 insertions(+), 190 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex index 0055c53..544126d 100644 --- a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -1,271 +1,144 @@ -There was shouting just a few feet from where I was on the beach. I'd gone -looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses. Instead -I'd found shouting. +There was shouting just a few feet from where I was on the beach. I'd gone looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses. Instead I'd found shouting. -Upon inspection, I found that my boss was causing a scene. Not that she wasn't -justified in being absolutely pissed. She was making a lot of good points. -Its not like I even got a choice in being here. It was either do this or get -merc'd by a corpo security team. +Upon inspection, I found that my boss was causing a scene. Not that she wasn't justified in being absolutely pissed. She was making a lot of good points. Its not like I even got a choice in being here. It was either do this or get merc'd by a corpo security team. -I should have kept my own bodily autonomy, like Marv presumably had. Not -getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea. -But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive. It was too late to worry about in -any case. +I should have kept my own bodily autonomy, like Marv presumably had. Not getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea. But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive. It was too late to worry about in any case. -I heard a little chime in the back of my head. It was different: more like a -thought than an actual sound. It was the notification bell I'd enabled while -waiting for Vivian to collect herself. +I heard a little chime in the back of my head. It was different: more like a thought than an actual sound. It was the notification bell I'd enabled while waiting for Vivian to collect herself. I opened the messaging application. -\textbf{Manafed:} Can you deescalate that? You're closer and I can see that -Vivian already trusts you a lot more than me. +\textbf{Manafed:} Can you deescalate that? You're closer and I can see that Vivian already trusts you a lot more than me. I thought up a quick reply and sent if off. -\textbf{Cantlin:} Viv is making some good points and I'm not sure I should -interrupt the angry boss woman. She's got a lot on her mind and y'all haven't -exactly been helpful to her it sounds like. +\textbf{Cantlin:} Viv is making some good points and I'm not sure I should interrupt the angry boss woman. She's got a lot on her mind and y'all haven't exactly been helpful to her it sounds like. A moment of silence before the notification 'sound' chimed again. -\textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair. I shouldn't be asking you to break up -arguments between officers anyway. They have rank over you. I don't expect -that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet. +\textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair. I shouldn't be asking you to break up arguments between officers anyway. They have rank over you. I don't expect that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet. -Yeah, Lucere could've said that again. This place, despite being on the -surface and anti-corporate safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity. -That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of. +Yeah, Lucere could've said that again. This place, despite being on the surface and anti-corporate safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity. That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of. -How was I supposed to be a runner? How was I supposed to get Berdie's meds? -How was I, working for an extension of a corp, supposed to exist as me? This -was the antithesis of everything I stood for. +How was I supposed to be a runner? How was I supposed to get Berdie's meds? How was I, working for an extension of a corp, supposed to exist as me? This was the antithesis of everything I stood for. -Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and like, convince her to -say no to the corporate games? But how would she create new mages without -killing them? +Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and like, convince her to say no to the corporate games? But how would she create new mages without killing them? -I'd heard of groups of runners that could afford such lavish facilities as -this, but what then? Wait until they got attacked by a corp? Maybe even -Eastern Hills? +I'd heard of groups of runners that could afford such lavish facilities as this, but what then? Wait until they got attacked by a corp? Maybe even Eastern Hills? -This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what -you'd expect. Nor what you could immediately think of, for that matter. +This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what you'd expect. Nor what you could immediately think of, for that matter. -\textbf{Cantlin:} Why don't you take care of it? I think I have to seek the -Pale Goddess and give her a piece of my mind. +\textbf{Cantlin:} Why don't you take care of it? I think I have to seek the Pale Goddess and give her a piece of my mind. -\textbf{Manafed:} You do you. You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, -though. Its unlikely that she'd appear here. +\textbf{Manafed:} You do you. You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, though. Its unlikely that she'd appear here. \textbf{Cantlin:} What, the goddess a bit shy? -\textbf{Manafed:} No, she's just incredibly tricksy and a bit of a pain in the -ass. +\textbf{Manafed:} No, she's just incredibly tricksy and a bit of a pain in the ass. Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules and shit. -I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void -'scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing -again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of -self-introspection. +I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void 'scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection. -"Yes, it does," someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked -pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking -blonde floating upside down. +"Yes, it does," someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down. -"Anna, I presume," I offered as I forced myself to relax. "You could warn a -girl before just barging into her head-space." +"Anna, I presume," I offered as I forced myself to relax. "You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space." -The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a -time. +The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a time. -"But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in a -playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before -disappearing again. +"But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. "What's with the corporate love?" I asked, frankly. -"No love," she giggled, "just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' -plans so I can go back to my set of universes." Vast trees of light sprouted -and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. +"No love," she giggled, "just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes." Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. -"Your set of universes?" I asked, confused. There were other universes? But -why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near -exploring what that might mean. +"Your set of universes?" I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean. -"Yes," she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, "I miss my home and I -miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird -limitations." Her face turned sour. "It means I can't just alter timelines to -get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do -you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations -would rule every inch of this hellscape." +"Yes," she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, "I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations." Her face turned sour. "It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape." -"Alter timelines?" I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. -My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, -showing me all sorts of 'what ifs' that could have happened. +"Alter timelines?" I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of 'what ifs' that could have happened. -"Yes," she replied, "but alas, I can't just say 'no more technomage dragon god' -in this universe." A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me -to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Its metalic scales -bending what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. +"Yes," she replied, "but alas, I can't just say 'no more technomage dragon god' in this universe." A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Its metalic scales bending what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. -I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance. I could see Anna's smirk from -around the beast before it disappeared. +I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance. I could see Anna's smirk from around the beast before it disappeared. -"By the way," Anna continued, "I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least -she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in -this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked -that one up one too many times in my own timeline." +"By the way," Anna continued, "I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked that one up one too many times in my own timeline." -Earth as I knew it was suspended above me. It was a perfect marble of blues, -greens, and whites. As I watched it, it slowly turned more red, the oceans -dried and the clouds thinned. +Earth as I knew it was suspended above me. It was a perfect marble of blues, greens, and whites. As I watched it, it slowly turned more red, the oceans dried and the clouds thinned. "Magic is wildly interlinked," she laughed. -"There's a dragon somewhere that can control all 'technomancy'?" I asked, -bewildered, "what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?" +"There's a dragon somewhere that can control all 'technomancy'?" I asked, bewildered, "what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?" -"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet someone who -can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the -expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to -meet them." +"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them." -I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the -Earth I knew. +I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the Earth I knew. -"There's life beyond the stars?" I asked, I didn't think I could be any more -alarmed, but it seemed my patron deity was just dropping bombshell after -bombshell on my fragile psyche. +"There's life beyond the stars?" I asked, I didn't think I could be any more alarmed, but it seemed my patron deity was just dropping bombshell after bombshell on my fragile psyche. -"Gods yes," she laughed, "you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' -universe? Pah." Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by -before Anna explained further. +"Gods yes," she laughed, "you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah." Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. -"The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If -they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is." A -spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain -latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd -hope. +"The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is." A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. -"Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: -don't let them touch anything they already haven't." +"Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't." "So humanity is better where you're from?" I asked. -"Yes and no," she began to explain, "gods above, I haven't talked about my own -origins in this much detail since the first mage I made." She materialized a -chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my -mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. +"Yes and no," she began to explain, "gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made." She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. -"In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, -humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the -beginning to the end, humanity never showed up." +"In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up." -Another vision of Earth appeared before me. The continents looked like they -were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least -iconically Earth. I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents. +Another vision of Earth appeared before me. The continents looked like they were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least iconically Earth. I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents. -"So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them -on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge -the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally -populated by humans that had setup a true utopia." +"So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia." -Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was -beautiful. +Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was beautiful. -"How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?" I -asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. +"How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?" I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. -"More than you could count, but less than infinity," she laughed, "of course, -that's a lot less than I thought, too." +"More than you could count, but less than infinity," she laughed, "of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too." "Why the special care for humanity?" I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. -"Why not? I am, after all, human," she admitted, "or at least I was, -originally." She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A -grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. "My hacker emblem. Someone -who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was -able to um, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my -abilities. Until I was omniscient." +"Why not? I am, after all, human," she admitted, "or at least I was, originally." She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. "My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to um, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient." -"You played a lot of strategy games, then?" I asked, a smile cracking across my -face. +"You played a lot of strategy games, then?" I asked, a smile cracking across my face. -"Not as many as you'd think," she dismissed, "I was more of a hacker. A lot -like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, -though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually." +"Not as many as you'd think," she dismissed, "I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually." -I saw glimpses of her memories. Her past. They looked nearly faded, like she -was trying to hold on to them. I could see tears in her eyes. The space -looked like it was shrinking. +I saw glimpses of her memories. Her past. They looked nearly faded, like she was trying to hold on to them. I could see tears in her eyes. The space looked like it was shrinking. -I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever -been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another -woman. I felt her casual indifference from her first kiss from a man. I felt -her loss when her love was taken from her. +I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her casual indifference from her first kiss from a man. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. -I \emph{felt} her. What it was to be her before she ascended. Before I could -feel any more, whatever connection let me feel her feelings faded. +I \emph{felt} her. What it was to be her before she ascended. Before I could feel any more, whatever connection let me feel her feelings faded. -That was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. That was a lot. I mean, -the fact that I was sitting there talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, -so I suppose my idea of 'a lot' was suddenly very broken. +That was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. That was a lot. I mean, the fact that I was sitting there talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of 'a lot' was suddenly very broken. -My mind wandered back around to why I wanted to talk to her in the first place, -not wanting to unpack all of the information that was just dumped on me. "So -why don't we split from the corp now that we are clearly big enough?" +My mind wandered back around to why I wanted to talk to her in the first place, not wanting to unpack all of the information that was just dumped on me. "So why don't we split from the corp now that we are clearly big enough?" -"Oh," she laughed, "quite the topic change. Um, currently we're actually in -the process, but really it comes down to ensuring that the Free State here -still exists. Eastern Hills is under constant pressure from Tamaki, under my -direction mind you, to keep other corps in the area in check. We leave and the -entire area will be 'up for grabs' in the eyes of the corps." +"Oh," she laughed, "quite the topic change. Um, currently we're actually in the process, but really it comes down to ensuring that the Free State here still exists. Eastern Hills is under constant pressure from Tamaki, under my direction mind you, to keep other corps in the area in check. We leave and the entire area will be 'up for grabs' in the eyes of the corps." -"So a bit of a catch-22, then?" I asked, pondering the politics that corps play -with eachother. +"So a bit of a catch-22, then?" I asked, pondering the politics that corps play with eachother. -"Yeah," she replied, "I'd opt for an all out revolution from the people living -here, but that would cost more blood and life than its worth." +"Yeah," she replied, "I'd opt for an all out revolution from the people living here, but that would cost more blood and life than its worth." -"So living in a Free State, despite the massive corps exerting their power -anyway, is preferable to letting the citizens decide?" +"So living in a Free State, despite the massive corps exerting their power anyway, is preferable to letting the citizens decide?" -"No," she laughed, "but they wouldn't get a say in any case. The corps have -more power, money, and resources. They would simply wipe any opposition out. -Or, as is tried and true, and much much cheaper, run psyops until other -citizens removed the opposition for them. Takes a little longer, but they -already control the media, so ultimately it cuts the cost by a lot." +"No," she laughed, "but they wouldn't get a say in any case. The corps have more power, money, and resources. They would simply wipe any opposition out. Or, as is tried and true, and much much cheaper, run psyops until other citizens removed the opposition for them. Takes a little longer, but they already control the media, so ultimately it cuts the cost by a lot." -So she was saying its better to live in a facade of equality than to live in an -open tyrany. I wasn't sure I agreed, but I'd think on it more later. I sighed -and slumped down as I realized I had an absolute tonne of information to unpack -and process later. +So she was saying its better to live in a facade of equality than to live in an open tyrany. I wasn't sure I agreed, but I'd think on it more later. I sighed and slumped down as I realized I had an absolute tonne of information to unpack and process later. -"Looks like I gave you too much at once," Anna said laxidasically. "Maybe you -should head back to the party and be with others. You have definitely been -winning friends." +"Looks like I gave you too much at once," Anna said laxidasically. "Maybe you should head back to the party and be with others. You have definitely been winning friends." -"No winning about friendship," I stated, "friendships are bonds that are -forged. They aren't won. Competition in this context simply doesn't make -sense." +"No winning about friendship," I stated, "friendships are bonds that are forged. They aren't won. Competition in this context simply doesn't make sense." -"Fair, but my point still stands," she giggled playfully. Again, treating me -like I was a pawn in a game. I didn't like it. +"Fair, but my point still stands," she giggled playfully. Again, treating me like I was a pawn in a game. I didn't like it. -"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings just as real as yours, and we -shouldn't be played with." +"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings just as real as yours, and we shouldn't be played with." -She gave me a puzzled look before realizing that my mindspace was becoming more -violent in its shifting thoughts. She nodded and was gone in an instant. +She gave me a puzzled look before realizing that my mindspace was becoming more violent in its shifting thoughts. She nodded and was gone in an instant. -Some goddess. Using people for playthings to enact her will in the world. At -least she was a lot more limited here than wherever the hell she came from. -And to be using us to get home was simply shameful. +Some goddess. Using people for playthings to enact her will in the world. At least she was a lot more limited here than wherever the hell she came from. And to be using us to get home was simply shameful. -I finally slumped down and cried, the space reflecting my suddenly -deteriorating facade of composure. Maybe this was a good way to get -introspection on myself. Maybe it was a decent way to disappear forever, -forgetting the outside world. +I finally slumped down and cried, the space reflecting my suddenly deteriorating facade of composure. Maybe this was a good way to get introspection on myself. Maybe it was a decent way to disappear forever, forgetting the outside world. From 15a2882f18f6483f06cc1093237bc05b5added48 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Ren Kararou Date: Sat, 21 Oct 2023 15:34:36 -0500 Subject: [PATCH 6/7] finish chapter 04-b --- src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex | 94 ++++++++++++------------ 1 file changed, 45 insertions(+), 49 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex index 544126d..a3c7990 100644 --- a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ I thought up a quick reply and sent if off. \textbf{Cantlin:} Viv is making some good points and I'm not sure I should interrupt the angry boss woman. She's got a lot on her mind and y'all haven't exactly been helpful to her it sounds like. -A moment of silence before the notification 'sound' chimed again. +A moment of silence before the notification `sound' chimed again. \textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair. I shouldn't be asking you to break up arguments between officers anyway. They have rank over you. I don't expect that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet. @@ -38,107 +38,103 @@ This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what you'd Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules and shit. -I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void 'scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection. +I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void `scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection. -"Yes, it does," someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down. +``Yes, it does,'' someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down. -"Anna, I presume," I offered as I forced myself to relax. "You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space." +``Anna, I presume,'' I offered while trying to force myself to relax. ``You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space.'' The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a time. -"But where would the fun in that be?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. +``But where would the fun in that be?'' she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. -"What's with the corporate love?" I asked, frankly. +``What's with the corporate love?'' I asked, frankly. -"No love," she giggled, "just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes." Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. +``No love,'' she giggled, ``just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes.'' Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. -"Your set of universes?" I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean. +``Your set of universes?'' I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean. -"Yes," she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, "I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations." Her face turned sour. "It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape." +``Yes,'' she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, ``I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations.'' Her face turned sour. ``It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape.'' -"Alter timelines?" I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of 'what ifs' that could have happened. +``Alter timelines?'' I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of `what ifs' that could've happened. -"Yes," she replied, "but alas, I can't just say 'no more technomage dragon god' in this universe." A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Its metalic scales bending what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. +``Yes,'' she replied, ``but alas, I can't just say `no more technomage dragon god' in this universe.'' A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Metalic scales bent what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance. I could see Anna's smirk from around the beast before it disappeared. -"By the way," Anna continued, "I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked that one up one too many times in my own timeline." +``By the way,'' Anna continued, ``I haven't taken care of that issue, but at least she doesn't control every aspect of technomancy here. In fact, killing her in this universe could cause a massive schism that would end all life. Fucked that one up one too many times in my own timeline.'' Earth as I knew it was suspended above me. It was a perfect marble of blues, greens, and whites. As I watched it, it slowly turned more red, the oceans dried and the clouds thinned. -"Magic is wildly interlinked," she laughed. +``Magic is wildly interlinked,'' she laughed. -"There's a dragon somewhere that can control all 'technomancy'?" I asked, bewildered, "what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?" +``There's a dragon somewhere that can control all of `technomancy'?'' I asked, bewildered, ``what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?'' -"Oh my young fledgling," she cooed, "you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them." +``Oh my young fledgling,'' she cooed, ``you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them.'' I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the Earth I knew. -"There's life beyond the stars?" I asked, I didn't think I could be any more alarmed, but it seemed my patron deity was just dropping bombshell after bombshell on my fragile psyche. +It was beautiful. Alien, like looking upon a new world should feel. There was nothing quite as terrifying, either. -"Gods yes," she laughed, "you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah." Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. +``There's life beyond the stars?'' I asked. Afterall, life beyond the stars was supposed to be nothing more than a fairytale. Humanity had been exploring space for nearly a hundred years and we hadn't met any other forms of life, let alone sentient life. -"The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is." A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. +``Gods yes,'' she laughed, ``you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah.'' Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. -"Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't." +``The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is.'' A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. -"So humanity is better where you're from?" I asked. +``Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't.'' -"Yes and no," she began to explain, "gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made." She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. +``So humanity is better where you're from?'' I asked. -"In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up." +``Yes and no,'' she began to explain, ``gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made.'' She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. + +``In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up.'' Another vision of Earth appeared before me. The continents looked like they were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least iconically Earth. I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents. -"So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia." +``So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia.'' Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was beautiful. -"How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?" I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. +``How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?'' I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. -"More than you could count, but less than infinity," she laughed, "of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too." +``More than you could count, but less than infinity,'' she laughed, ``of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too.'' -"Why the special care for humanity?" I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. +``Why the special care for humanity?'' I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. -"Why not? I am, after all, human," she admitted, "or at least I was, originally." She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. "My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to um, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient." +``Why not? I am, after all, human,'' she admitted, ``or at least I was, originally.'' She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. ``My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient.'' -"You played a lot of strategy games, then?" I asked, a smile cracking across my face. +``You played a lot of strategy games, then?'' I asked, a smile cracking across my face. -"Not as many as you'd think," she dismissed, "I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually." +``Not as many as you'd think,'' she dismissed, ``I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually.'' I saw glimpses of her memories. Her past. They looked nearly faded, like she was trying to hold on to them. I could see tears in her eyes. The space looked like it was shrinking. -I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her casual indifference from her first kiss from a man. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. +I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. -I \emph{felt} her. What it was to be her before she ascended. Before I could feel any more, whatever connection let me feel her feelings faded. +Flashes of explosions peppered the walls of my brain. Lights I shouldn't have been able to recognize as magic assaulted my eyes, bursting forth from wands, hands, cards, and computers. People I didn't recognize, preparing for what I could only assume was a fight to the death. -That was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. That was a lot. I mean, the fact that I was sitting there talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of 'a lot' was suddenly very broken. +I saw her life, from before she ascended to divinity. A life filled with loss. A life she'd never been able to enjoy. -My mind wandered back around to why I wanted to talk to her in the first place, not wanting to unpack all of the information that was just dumped on me. "So why don't we split from the corp now that we are clearly big enough?" +I felt her. I felt for her. I wanted for her to be able to go home. -"Oh," she laughed, "quite the topic change. Um, currently we're actually in the process, but really it comes down to ensuring that the Free State here still exists. Eastern Hills is under constant pressure from Tamaki, under my direction mind you, to keep other corps in the area in check. We leave and the entire area will be 'up for grabs' in the eyes of the corps." +My body crumpled to the floor and tears burst from my eyes. My throat was raw from grief and my mind was struggling to catch up. To ground itself in the here and now. -"So a bit of a catch-22, then?" I asked, pondering the politics that corps play with eachother. +It was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. It was probably more than a lot. I mean, the fact that I was talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of `a lot' was suddenly very broken. -"Yeah," she replied, "I'd opt for an all out revolution from the people living here, but that would cost more blood and life than its worth." +I spent minutes processing, trying desperately to remember myself. To remember who I was. My brain scrapped together every foothold, every raw inch of ground to pull itself back up from the ledge of whatever brand of insanity my patron deity decided to throw me down. -"So living in a Free State, despite the massive corps exerting their power anyway, is preferable to letting the citizens decide?" +``Too much,'' I finally spluttered, my voice barely audible. -"No," she laughed, "but they wouldn't get a say in any case. The corps have more power, money, and resources. They would simply wipe any opposition out. Or, as is tried and true, and much much cheaper, run psyops until other citizens removed the opposition for them. Takes a little longer, but they already control the media, so ultimately it cuts the cost by a lot." +``Yes,'' Anna whispered, her voice very close to my ear. -So she was saying its better to live in a facade of equality than to live in an open tyrany. I wasn't sure I agreed, but I'd think on it more later. I sighed and slumped down as I realized I had an absolute tonne of information to unpack and process later. +I jumped, not realizing she'd put her arm around me in a comforting gesture. -"Looks like I gave you too much at once," Anna said laxidasically. "Maybe you should head back to the party and be with others. You have definitely been winning friends." +``I'm sorry,'' she said. ``I forget how fragile the human mind is.'' -"No winning about friendship," I stated, "friendships are bonds that are forged. They aren't won. Competition in this context simply doesn't make sense." +I scoffed, finally regaining enough composure to stand up. ``Just warn me next time.'' -"Fair, but my point still stands," she giggled playfully. Again, treating me like I was a pawn in a game. I didn't like it. +She nodded, then turned and started walking to the unseeable edge. -"We're people," I said, "we all have feelings just as real as yours, and we shouldn't be played with." - -She gave me a puzzled look before realizing that my mindspace was becoming more violent in its shifting thoughts. She nodded and was gone in an instant. - -Some goddess. Using people for playthings to enact her will in the world. At least she was a lot more limited here than wherever the hell she came from. And to be using us to get home was simply shameful. - -I finally slumped down and cried, the space reflecting my suddenly deteriorating facade of composure. Maybe this was a good way to get introspection on myself. Maybe it was a decent way to disappear forever, forgetting the outside world. +``I'm sorry,'' I said. ``For your losses. For your life. It felt miserable.'' From 0312e77b225838a5a83ebc7183371ff1658bae5b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Ren Kararou Date: Sun, 22 Oct 2023 09:22:12 -0500 Subject: [PATCH 7/7] edit pass 1 on 04-b done --- src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex | 98 +++++++++++++++--------- 1 file changed, 60 insertions(+), 38 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex index a3c7990..7f31312 100644 --- a/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex +++ b/src/chapters/04-b-monsterseverywhere.tex @@ -1,8 +1,10 @@ -There was shouting just a few feet from where I was on the beach. I'd gone looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses. Instead I'd found shouting. +I'd gone looking for Lucere in hopes of sharing a few more intoxicating kisses. Instead I found shouting. Violent shouting. -Upon inspection, I found that my boss was causing a scene. Not that she wasn't justified in being absolutely pissed. She was making a lot of good points. Its not like I even got a choice in being here. It was either do this or get merc'd by a corpo security team. +Upon inspection, I found that my boss was making a scene. Not that she wasn't justified in being absolutely pissed. She was making a lot of good points. Its not like I even got a choice in being here. It was either do this or get merc'd by a corpo security team, and I doubt she'd gotten any further choice than I did. -I should have kept my own bodily autonomy, like Marv presumably had. Not getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea. But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive. It was too late to worry about in any case. +Granted, I should have kept my own bodily autonomy. Not getting an implant directly in my brain would have been a much smarter idea. But I supposed I was a bit too impulsive. It was too late to worry about in any case. + +How was Marv doing, anyway? Was he busy being his usual self, working on hardware and software to the exclusion of everything else, or was he a liability that they'd already disposed of? I wouldn't know until I asked or otherwise saw him. I heard a little chime in the back of my head. It was different: more like a thought than an actual sound. It was the notification bell I'd enabled while waiting for Vivian to collect herself. @@ -18,11 +20,13 @@ A moment of silence before the notification `sound' chimed again. \textbf{Manafed:} Alright, fair. I shouldn't be asking you to break up arguments between officers anyway. They have rank over you. I don't expect that'd be anything actionable here, but you may not be used to our culture yet. -Yeah, Lucere could've said that again. This place, despite being on the surface and anti-corporate safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity. That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of. +Yeah, Lucere could've said that again. This place, despite being on the surface an anti-corpo safe-haven, was still a part of a corporate entity. That alone gave me the fuel for every nightmare I could think of. + +I worked for the enemy. How was I supposed to be a runner? How was I supposed to get Berdie's meds? How was I, working for an extension of a corp, supposed to exist as me? This was the antithesis of everything I stood for. -Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and like, convince her to say no to the corporate games? But how would she create new mages without killing them? +Do I just get into contact with Anna the Pale Goddess and convince her to say no to the corporate games? But how would she create new mages without killing them? I'd heard of groups of runners that could afford such lavish facilities as this, but what then? Wait until they got attacked by a corp? Maybe even Eastern Hills? @@ -30,35 +34,39 @@ This was a complicated line of thought and the answers weren't always what you'd \textbf{Cantlin:} Why don't you take care of it? I think I have to seek the Pale Goddess and give her a piece of my mind. -\textbf{Manafed:} You do you. You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, though. Its unlikely that she'd appear here. +\textbf{Manafed:} You do you. You'll find it helpful to go to your mind, though. Its unlikely that she'd appear here. Just focus inward and send the mental command to go. Fun place, just don't lose yourself. -\textbf{Cantlin:} What, the goddess a bit shy? +\textbf{Cantlin:} Lose myself? -\textbf{Manafed:} No, she's just incredibly tricksy and a bit of a pain in the ass. +\textbf{Manafed:} You'll see when you get there. -Deities. Figured they'd be problematic with their own set of rules and shit. +I focused my thoughts inward and sent the mental command. I found myself quite suddenly floating in a void, much like space. My thoughts and memories materialized and vanished within instants accompanied by sometimes gentle, sometimes violent flashes of vibrant color. -I focussed on my mind for a moment before disappearing into a completely void `scape. I saw my thoughts as they bubbled into existence before disappearing again just an instant later. The implant must enable some weird types of self-introspection. +These implants must enable some extreme types of self-introspection. -``Yes, it does,'' someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. I saw a young looking blonde floating upside down. +``Yes, they do,'' someone said from behind me. The entire environment blinked pink then red as I snapped around ready to attack. A young-looking blonde wearing a baseball cap and a pink hoodie greeted me with an unwavering confidence. -``Anna, I presume,'' I offered while trying to force myself to relax. ``You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space.'' +``Anna, I presume,'' I offered, trying to force myself to relax. ``You could warn a girl before just barging into her head-space.'' -The space became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting my thoughts instants at a time. +The void became weirdly calm, no longer reflecting only my thoughts instants at a time. In the sudden flashes were images I didn't, or maybe couldn't, recognize. In others, there were people. -``But where would the fun in that be?'' she asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. +One of the most frequent people to show up was a redhaired girl wearing thick glasses. She was wearing the same baseball cap Anna was wearing now, even down to the early 21st century orbital capsule depicted on it. -``What's with the corporate love?'' I asked, frankly. +She was cute, at least until I realized that in most of these memories Anna was desperately trying to revive her lifeless corpse. -``No love,'' she giggled, ``just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes.'' Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. +``But where would the fun in that be?'' Anna asked, sticking her tongue out in a playful manner. Little bubbles of Anna's face intruded on my vision before disappearing again. + +``What's with the corporate love?'' I asked, frankly, desperately trying to keep from asking about the girl. + +``No love,'' she giggled. ``Just trying to throw a wrench in the other deities' plans so I can go back to my set of universes.'' Vast trees of light sprouted and disappeared. Much like lightning, but somehow much more complex. ``Your set of universes?'' I asked, confused. There were other universes? But why? I mean, science said it might be possible, but we were nowhere near exploring what that might mean. -``Yes,'' she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly, ``I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations.'' Her face turned sour. ``It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape.'' +``Yes,'' she said, her playful tone vanishing instantly. ``I miss my home and I miss my power. Omnipotence doesn't work in this universe due to some weird limitations.'' Her face turned sour. ``It means I can't just alter timelines to get what I want and instead I have to keep powerful players in power. Why do you think the free states exist at all? If it weren't for me, corporations would rule every inch of this hellscape.'' ``Alter timelines?'' I asked, alarm radiating through every ounce of my voice. My headspace was reflecting my alarm, bubbling up slightly in obtuse ways, showing me all sorts of `what ifs' that could've happened. -``Yes,'' she replied, ``but alas, I can't just say `no more technomage dragon god' in this universe.'' A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me ghasping for air. Metalic scales bent what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. +``Yes,'' she replied frankly. ``But alas, I can't just say `no more technomage dragon god' in this universe.'' A dragon burst forth, its large form threatening to pin me to the ground. Its hot breath left me gasping for air. Metallic scales bent what little light there was in ways that didn't quite make sense. I screeched at the dragon's sudden appearance. I could see Anna's smirk from around the beast before it disappeared. @@ -68,49 +76,51 @@ Earth as I knew it was suspended above me. It was a perfect marble of blues, gr ``Magic is wildly interlinked,'' she laughed. -``There's a dragon somewhere that can control all of `technomancy'?'' I asked, bewildered, ``what the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?'' +``There's a dragon somewhere that can control all of `technomancy'?'' I asked, bewildered. ``What the hell even \emph{is} technomancy?'' -``Oh my young fledgling,'' she cooed, ``you'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them.'' +``Oh my young fledgling,'' she cooed. ``You'll hopefully never meet someone who can use it. They exist far beyond the stars at this moment. Due to the expansion of your universe, its hopeful your entire species will never have to meet them.'' I began seeing flashes of a new planet far different and much larger than the Earth I knew. It was beautiful. Alien, like looking upon a new world should feel. There was nothing quite as terrifying, either. -``There's life beyond the stars?'' I asked. Afterall, life beyond the stars was supposed to be nothing more than a fairytale. Humanity had been exploring space for nearly a hundred years and we hadn't met any other forms of life, let alone sentient life. +``There's life beyond the stars?'' I asked rhetorically. After all, life beyond the stars was supposed to be nothing more than a fairy tale. Humanity had been exploring space for nearly a hundred years and we hadn't met any other forms of life, let alone sentient life. But despite that, it wasn't a challenge. A literal goddess stood before me and told me it was true. -``Gods yes,'' she laughed, ``you thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah.'' Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. +Who was I to argue. -``The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is.'' A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. +``Gods yes,'' she laughed, ignoring my skepticism. ``You thought you were all alone here in this big ol' universe? Pah.'' Bubbles of human-like figures towering over me flashed by before Anna explained further. ``The Kirtischians would wipe this sorry excuse for humanity into oblivion. If they could ever figure out how to tear a hole through space-time, that is.'' -``Luckily, every other deity also appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't.'' +A spacecraft was flying by, then suddenly disappeared in its entirety. My brain latched on to 'sorry excuse for humanity'. It was a phrase that gave me an odd hope. + +``Luckily, every other deity appears to take the stance on them that I do: don't let them touch anything they already haven't.'' ``So humanity is better where you're from?'' I asked. -``Yes and no,'' she began to explain, ``gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made.'' She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. +``Yes and no,'' she began, then paused and laughed. ``Gods above, I haven't talked about my own origins in this much detail since the first mage I made.'' She materialized a chair next to me and lounged in it. -``In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't 'just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up.'' +I wasn't sure if she had influence over my mind or if I was sharing mind space with her. Either option was a slightly terrifying prospect. + +``In my universe, the one I was able to cultivate from its very inception, humanity wouldn't `just happen'. I tried so many things, but from the beginning to the end, humanity never showed up.'' Another vision of Earth appeared before me. The continents looked like they were in different positions to what I knew them as, but it was at least iconically Earth. I saw a spaceship crash into one of the continents. -``So I caused a few malfunctions on Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jumpstart humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia.'' +``So I caused a few malfunctions on a Kirtiscian spacecraft and crash-landed them on Earth to finally jump start humanity. After that, I was able to gently nudge the right people into power and Earth, by the time it all ended, was finally populated by humans that had setup a true utopia.'' -Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was beautiful. +Many spaceports appeared around the planet as the continents moved. It was beautiful. ``How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?'' I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. -``How many timelines did you shave off into oblivion to get that to work?'' I asked. My lack of trust in people clearly showing through my awe. +``More than you could count, but less than infinity,'' she laughed. ``Of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too.'' -``More than you could count, but less than infinity,'' she laughed, ``of course, that's a lot less than I thought, too.'' +``Why the special care for humanity?'' I asked, curiosity taking a special hold over me. -``Why the special care for humanity?'' I asked, curiosity finally boiling over. - -``Why not? I am, after all, human,'' she admitted, ``or at least I was, originally.'' She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. ``My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient.'' +``Why not? I am, after all, human,'' she admitted. ``Or at least I was, originally.'' She pointed to a weird little tattoo she had on her shoulder. A grid of spaces, some filled with dots, others not. ``My hacker emblem. Someone who found a bug in the universe was awarded with one. Mine? Ascension. I was able to, without making it sound too much like an RPG, level up my abilities. Until I was omniscient.'' ``You played a lot of strategy games, then?'' I asked, a smile cracking across my face. -``Not as many as you'd think,'' she dismissed, ``I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually.'' +``Not as many as you'd think,'' she dismissed. ``I was more of a hacker. A lot like you, actually. Just, a lot more into maths. That was so many years ago, though. Many universes worth of time ago, actually.'' I saw glimpses of her memories. Her past. They looked nearly faded, like she was trying to hold on to them. I could see tears in her eyes. The space looked like it was shrinking. -I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. +Before I knew what was happening I felt the agoraphobia of infinite time. And I felt the most lonely I'd ever been. I felt the feelings of her excitement the first time she kissed another woman. I felt her loss when her love was taken from her. Flashes of explosions peppered the walls of my brain. Lights I shouldn't have been able to recognize as magic assaulted my eyes, bursting forth from wands, hands, cards, and computers. People I didn't recognize, preparing for what I could only assume was a fight to the death. @@ -118,12 +128,18 @@ I saw her life, from before she ascended to divinity. A life filled with loss. I felt her. I felt for her. I wanted for her to be able to go home. -My body crumpled to the floor and tears burst from my eyes. My throat was raw from grief and my mind was struggling to catch up. To ground itself in the here and now. +\emph{I held her losses in my heart.} + +They were just as raw to me as if they had happened just minutes ago. + +My body crumpled to the floor and tears burst from my eyes. My throat was raw from grief and my mind was struggling to catch up. A failure to ground itself in the here and now. It was a lot. A lot to take in. A lot to process. It was probably more than a lot. I mean, the fact that I was talking to an actual goddess was also a lot, so I suppose my idea of `a lot' was suddenly very broken. I spent minutes processing, trying desperately to remember myself. To remember who I was. My brain scrapped together every foothold, every raw inch of ground to pull itself back up from the ledge of whatever brand of insanity my patron deity decided to throw me down. +It was a battle of willpower I shouldn't have been able to win. + ``Too much,'' I finally spluttered, my voice barely audible. ``Yes,'' Anna whispered, her voice very close to my ear. @@ -134,7 +150,13 @@ I jumped, not realizing she'd put her arm around me in a comforting gesture. I scoffed, finally regaining enough composure to stand up. ``Just warn me next time.'' -She nodded, then turned and started walking to the unseeable edge. +She nodded, then turned and started walking to the unseeable edge, long forgotten by my grief adled brain. -``I'm sorry,'' I said. ``For your losses. For your life. It felt miserable.'' +``I'm sorry,'' I said, my voice barely a whisper. ``For your losses. For your life. It felt miserable.'' + +Anna paused and turned to me. I could see tears streaming down her face. ``You would think with all the power in the universe I could have brought her back.'' + +``She was amazing,'' I replied. ``Everywhere has monsters, but there was only one of her, and we're all worse off for her loss.'' Her memory was still fresh in my mind. Anna's sheer joy when she was with her. The overwhelming grief at her loss. + +``I can't even remember her name anymore.''