diff --git a/src/chapters/04-a-newfeeling.tex b/src/chapters/04-a-newfeeling.tex
index debab84..ae467c5 100644
--- a/src/chapters/04-a-newfeeling.tex
+++ b/src/chapters/04-a-newfeeling.tex
@@ -1,204 +1,194 @@
-The world was writhing pain. Then it wasn't. I had form, I could feel it, but
-it kept changing in horrifying and very uncomfortable ways.
+The world warped. First it was pain. Then it wasn't. I had form; I could feel
+it and its changes, its horrifying and very incomfortable changes.
-Just as suddenly as the weird happened, it stopped. I knew I shouldn't have
-synced my virtual and physical bodies, but I really just wanted to see myself.
-I guess because my body was actively changing, the implant couldn't get a read
-and started freaking out.
+It had stopped an instant after it happened.
-I would ask Lucere about that.
+I knew I shouldn't have synced my virtual and physical bodies, but I really
+just wanted to see for myself. I figured my implant couldn't get a read on my
+const volatile fucking form and flipped out.
-The world was full of new colours assaulting me as I opened my eyes. Colours I
-thought shouldn't exist, that were nearly impossible to describe. After all,
-how do you explain colour to someone who's never seen it?
+Reminder to ask Lucere about that.
-My headache came back in full force before I could think any longer on the
-colours I was seeing.
+I opened my eyes and colours pierced me. I could not describe the impossibility
+I bore witness to; it would be like explaining technology to a housecat. Also
+my headache came back in full.
-"What in the fuck did I do that for?" I asked myself aloud. My head felt fuzzy
-as I sat up. Aside from the new colours, the room was mostly the same, save a
-woman sitting slumped over in the chair to my right. She was pretty.
+I groaned. "What in the fuck did I do that for?" With a fuzzy head I sat
+up. Chromatic impossibility aside, the room was mostly the same, save the
+pretty woman slumped over on a chair to my right.
-Her shoulder length hair looked almost white, but off slightly. It had several
-highlights of another colour I couldn't describe. Her face was slightly
-rounded and framed by slivers of hair. Her eyes glowed of a blue-like colour
-that I couldn't put my finger on.
+Her shoulder-length hair looked an ever-so-slightly off-white with several
+highlights of yet another eldritch impossibility. Slivers of hair framed a
+rounded face and her eyes glowed a blue familiar and yet alien.
-"You passed," Lucere said.
+"You passed," said Lucere.
-"Passed what?" I asked. Only now did I realize my voice was high and melodic.
-"Wait, what the hell?"
+I locked my eyes to her, eyebrows raised. "Passed what?"
-I looked down and saw two small lumps on my chest. "What the hell?" I
-demanded.
+The high melody of my voice signaled an interrupt to all my
+thoughts. "Wait. What the hell?" I looked down and found two small lumps
+that did not exist before. "What. The. Hell."
-"You needed an avatar boss," the girl said, exhaustion seeping through her
-voice.
+The girl beside me groaned, her exhaustion evident. "You needed an avatar
+boss."
-"So you just dropped me into a woman's- wait, boss?" I asked, perplexed. I
-wasn't her boss, was I?
+"So you just dropped me into a woman's-" And somehow I still had a modicum of
+situational awareness. "Wait. Boss?" I wasn't her boss, was I?
-"Yeah," Lucere responded, through her own exhaustion, "You are her immediate
+"Yeah," Lucere replied with exhaustion of her own, "You are her immediate
officer. We mentioned you were an officer, right?"
"Yeah," I whispered, "I just didn't think it was going to be an immediate type
-of thing." I had no idea how to be a leader. I'd worked on software my whole
-career in exclusively non-leadership roles.
-
-I slumped back and put my hands on my forehead. "What's with the new colours?"
+of thing." I had no idea how to be a leader. I'd never worked a single day in
+any manner of leadership position. Before I flipped out again I did the smart
+thing and slumped back with my hands on my forehead. "What's with the new
+colours?"
"Probably messed up with a setting," my I-guess-an-employee said, "I was really
-rushed for time. Fix your settings yourself."
+rushed for time; fix your settings yourself."
-I nodded and started moving through the menus to change the way that visual
-input was processed and started adjusting. Before I knew it, the world looked
-normal again.
+I nodded, moving through the menus to adjust my visual input processing.
+Before I knew it the world was normal again.
-"Thank you," I said, realizing I hadn't mentioned it earlier.
+"Thank you," I said, realizing I hadn't earlier.
"Whatever," she said, "I'm Eilidh. Designation of, um... I guess tactical
something or other."
-"I'm Talon," I replied. The name didn't really feel right coming from this
-honey-sweet voice. "Shit. That doesn't sound right. Lets go with Vivian."
-Where had that come from? Had I been thinking about it without realizing it?
+"I'm Talon," I replied, saying my name for the first time with such a sweet
+tongue, "Shit. That doesn't sound right. Lets go with Vivian."
-Was my brain working against me again?
+Where had that come from? Had I been thinking about it without realizing
+it? Was my brain working against me again?
-"Vivian," Lucere laughed, suddenly breaking out of her exhaustion, "wow that
-fits really nicely. I figured you would go with something like Tali or another
-name starting with T."
+"Vivian." Lucere laughed herself back awake, "wow that fits really nicely. I
+figured you would go with something like Tali or another name starting with T."
-I was suddenly very self-conscious. I dropped my head straight down to avoid
-letting them see me blush. I was a guy, right? Guys weren't supposed to
-blush, even if I look like a girl.
+Self-consciousness became my whole being and I dropped my head straight
+down. I was a guy, right? Guys weren't supposed to blush, even if I looked
+like a girl.
-I was immediately distracted by my thighs. They were soft looking. My hand
-reached out to touch them before my brain could catch up, and the feeling of
-my fingers against them was euphoric.
+I looked to my thighs and found myself distracted once more. They were
+soft-looking. Before my brain could catch up my hand reached for them and
+bliss lit up my fingertips.
"Woah," I mouthed.
-"Are you good there?" Eilidh asked, a bemused look on her face.
+"Are you good there?" I noticed a bemused look on Eilidh's face after she asked.
-I could feel my heartbeat in my face. "Um," I finally answered, "I'm not
-sure."
+I could feel my heartbeat in my face for a while before finally answering. "Um,
+I'm not sure."
"Looks like you aren't really in the mindspace to be building much of
-anything," Lucere said, "do you want to keep that avitar or start working on a
-new one thats a little more what you're used to."
+anything," said Lucere, "Do you want to keep that avatar or start working on a
+new one that's a little more what you're used to."
-"I'll keep this one!" I heard shouted. It was my voice, though. I didn't say
-that, did I?
+"I'll keep this one!" I heard my voice shout.
-"Like being a woman?" I heard Eilidh ask.
+Did- did I say that?
-"I-" I wasn't sure. This was all happening so fast and I didn't really get a
-say in any of it. Even my brain was working against me in making this happen.
+"Like being a woman?" Eilidh asked.
-We were suddenly on a beach. The sand was a nice cyan colour.
+"I-" I wasn't sure. This was all so fast and I get a say in any of it,
+really. Even my own brain conspired against me when it came to this.
-"I'm going to go join the others, \emph{Vivian}, please feel free to come join
-the party once you feel you're ready," Lucere said as she was walking toward a
-pop-up tent. "Eilidh, feel free to do whatever you like. Your boss looks like
+I left my inner panic to find myself on a cyan-sanded beach.
+
+"I'm going to go join the others, \emph{Vivian}; please feel free to come join
+the party once you feel you're ready," Lucere said, walking toward a pop-up
+tent, "Eilidh, feel free to do whatever you like. Your boss looks like
\emph{she} could use the company."
-I found myself a little sad, knowing Lucere was going to just abandon me. I
-looked over to Eilidh and realized that her hair was a pretty blue. Maybe a
-shade darker than the sand we were standing on.
+I found sadness in the knowledge that Lucere would just abandon me.
-Eilidh looked at me, locking her gaze with mine. Her eyes were glowing with a
-faint green colour. Despite the glow of her magic, I could see the colour of
-her irises. They were a deep hazel with flecks of blue, green, and gold
-interspersed.
+I looked over to Eilidh and realized that her hair was a pretty blue maybe a
+shade darker than the sand beneath us.
-A pulse of heat radiated from my core that made my skin tingle like it was
-electrified.
+Eilidh locked her gaze with mine, her eyes alight with a faint green. Seeing
+past her magic I found deep hazel interspersed with blue, green, and gold.
-"Wow," I whispered, realizing I was holding back tears, "I'm sorry, this is all
+A pulse of heat radiated from me and electrified my skin.
+
+"Wow," I whispered, feeling tears behind my eyes, "I'm sorry; this is all
really new to me and I'm having a hard time dealing with all of these new
\emph{feelings}."
-"Its fine," she shrugged, "just do whatever you need to. Cry, talk, sit there
-brooding like a maniac. Whatever, really. I'll be right here for you.
-Obviously I can't tell you how to figure yourself out, but I will offer
-whatever help I can."
+She shrugged. "Its fine; just do whatever you need. Cry, talk, sit there
+brooding like a maniac. Whatever, really. I'll be here for
+you. Obviously I can't tell you how to figure yourself out, but I will offer
+what help I can."
Was that dedication to the job or was she this nice all the time?
-"Thank you," I mumbled before leaning against the cliff that towered above me.
+I mumbled a thank you and leaned against the cliff towering overhead.
-Eilidh sat down next to me and began fiddling with something I couldn't see.
+Eilidh sat down next to me and fiddled with something out of my sight. We sat
+in a comfortable silence, despite my tears threatening to drown me in my own
+thoughts. This body felt so much more comfortable than the guy I had been
+less than an hour ago. It was odd, thinking about it; the guy was almost more
+cage than person.
-We sat in a comfortable silence while I held tears back, thinking about
-everything. This body felt so much more comfortable than the guy I had been
-less than an hour ago. It was odd, thinking about it. The guy was almost more
-of a cage than a person.
+The beach, Eilidh, it all faded away. "Am I trans?"
-"Am I trans?" I asked, forgetting that Eilidh was next to me.
+"Maybe?" She replied, very much \textbf{not} faded at all.
-"Maybe?" She replied. I \emph{squeeked} in response.
+I \emph{squeeked} and embarrassment dropped my voive to a mumble. "Fuck. Don't
+startle me like that."
-"Fuck," I mumbled in embarresment, "don't startle me like that."
+She replied with a rather cryptic stare. "Wow," she said, staring at me rather
+cryptically,making a look I couldn't interpret. "Wow. That was the most
+\emph{adorable} thing I've ever seen."
-"Wow," she said, staring at me making a look I couldn't interpret. "That was
-the most \emph{adorable} thing I've ever seen."
+"Adorable?" I'd never been called adorable. It felt... nice? Certainly
+felt better than if I'd been called weak or childish for not being manly
+enough. My face risked permanent redness if people just kept telling me stuff
+like this. I didn't know the treatment of women among themselves felt so
+good it was addictive.
-"Adorable?" I asked. I'd never been called adorable. It felt nice? It
-certainly felt better than if I'd been called weak or childish for not being
-manly enough.
+There was a part of me I never thought would see the light of day. I just
+didn't realize it was \emph{this}; being a woman wasn't bad as I thought it'd
+be, especially if everyone was going to be this easy going about it.
-My face might just be permanently red if people keep telling me stuff like
-this. I didn't know that the treatment of women amongs themselves felt so
-good. It was addictive.
+Eilidh smiled and nodded. "You look like you're feeling a lot more
+comfortable. You want to go join the party?"
-It was a part of me that I never thought would see the light of day. I just
-didn't realize it was \emph{this}. Being a woman didn't feel quite so bad as I
-thought it would. Especially if everyone was going to be this easy going about
-it.
-
-"You look like you're feeling a lot more comfortable," Eilidh stated, "You want
-to go join the party?"
-
-"I guess I'm just going to try this out for a while," I said, resigning myself
-to my fate. "No need to put a label on anything yet, so yeah, lets go join the
+I resigned myself to my fate. "I guess I'm just going to try this out for a
+while. No need to put a label on anything yet, so yeah; let's go join the
others." I might as well try it out, right? Everyone already thought I was
trans.
-I got up and brushed the sand from my butt. A deep breath later and I was
-following Eilidh over to the tent that was in the center of the beach. Looking
-around, I noticed that there were a lot of people, mostly aparant women,
-launging in beach chairs that had been setup across the beach. There were
-others still who were lounging on towels, playing volley ball, or chatting with
-their friends.
+I got up and brushed the sand from my butt. One deep breath later I followed
+Eilidh to the tent in the center of the beach. Looking around, I noticed a lot
+of apparent women lounging in beach chairs across the sands, others resting atop
+towels, more playing volley ball, and yet more engaged in friendly chatter.
-There were quite a few people. I estimated something like fifty or sixty
-people, just looking around, but I may have been wrong. Despite that, my
-aversion to large crowds wasn't kicking in.
+I estimated something like fifty or sixty people being here, but that wasn't
+certain. Despite that, I felt no aversion to the crowd.
-I noticed I was quite confused by this, but wouldn't question a good thing
-until later when I was alone. Though, the concept of 'alone' was being
-stretched to its limits. I realized that thinking about the implant I had in
-my head.
+I noticed I was confused.
-The implant that malfunctioned and sent me to a painful and weird void.
-Admittedly because I misconfigured it, but the point still stands. This thing
-is dangerous.
+I wouldn't question a good thing until later when I was alone, though. Well,
+for some value of 'alone' that my head implant was outright abusing, the very
+same implant that malfunctioned me into a weird painful void.
-Of course, most new technology is dangerous. Like, very dangerous. In the
-late parts of the last millenium, humanity had decided to put all of its most
-important systems on the net without any concern for security. Only later did
-humanity realize how insane that idea actually was.
+So what if I misconfigured it? It was still \emph{super dangerous!!}
-As I walk towards a group of magically enabled women in a virtual world
-nineteen decades later, we still hadn't recovered from that mess. If anything
-security had become at least an afterthought instead of not a thought at all.
-There was a sinking feeling in my stomach.
+To be fair, though, most new technology is dangerous. Like, very dangerous. In
+the late parts of the last millenium, humanity decided to put all of its most
+important systems on the net without care for security.
-"Hi," an androgynous voice greeted me as I finally arrived at the tent, "Xela
+Only later did humanity realize how insane that idea actually was.
+
+As I walked towards a group of magical women in a virtual world nineteen decades
+later, we still hadn't recovered from that mess. If anything, security had
+become at least an afterthought...
+
+An improvement, but my stomach sunk nonetheless.
+
+"Hi," an androgynous voice greeted me when I finally entered the tent, "Xela
Melrose, Technology Officer and massive pain in the ass to heterosexuality."
-"Hi," I responded, "newly minted \emph{whatever} and not even sure what
+"Hi," I replied, "newly minted \emph{whatever} and not even sure what
heterosexuality means anymore."
"Oh," fae responded, "its like, strai-"
@@ -206,104 +196,105 @@ heterosexuality means anymore."
"I know," I interjected, "just not sure if its applicable to anything I
understand."
-"Ah," fae laughed, "well in that case, come by my 'what the fuck is gender,
+Fae laughed. "Ah. Well in that case, come by my 'what the fuck is gender,
anyway?' fun house later. We're gonna have cake and break your idea of gender.
-Either that or bore the hell out of you. One of the two."
+Either that or bore the hell out of you, one of the two."
-\emph{Is fae joking?} I asked myself. Couldn't tell and wasn't entirely sure.
-I nodded in response before my voice finally found my mouth again, "I'm not
-really sure I'm ready for something like that. This is already a hard enough
-trip."
+I wondered if fae were joking and I couldn't tell and I wasn't entirely
+sure.
-I heard faer humming as fae started to understand. "You must be Tactical
-Officer Young. Maybe next time then. How are you enjoying the new digs?"
+I nodded, voice and mouth united once more. "I'm not really sure I'm ready for
+something like that. This is already a hard enough trip."
+
+I heard faer humming with comprehension. "You must be Tactical Officer
+Young. Maybe next time then. How are you enjoying the new digs?"
"Its complicated," I admitted. Wow, was I really talking with someone I'd
never met about this stuff?
"How do you feel about the absolutely stellar body you have waiting for you in
-the real?" fae asked.
+the real?"
-"Um? I know I have horns, but why don't you enlighten me?"
+I blinked. "Um, I know I have horns, but why don't you enlighten me?"
-"Oh shit, you don't even know?" fae feigned a face of horror, "goddess above
-you're gorgeous. A step above anything we've ever seen before. Your perfect
-self is something that nobody else could have thought of. I mean, hell, your
-wings are this beautiful ice blue. Like morning frost covering an indigo
-bloom. And your skin is this beautiful mottling of..."
+Faer voice feigned the horrors of the Seelie Court. "Oh shit, you don't even
+know? Goddess above, you're gorgeous! A step above anything we've ever seen
+before. Your perfect self is something that nobody else could have thought
+of! I mean, hell, your wings are this beautiful ice blue, like morning frost
+covering an indigo bloom. And your skin is this beautiful mottling of..."
-I tuned faer out as fae went on about how beautiful my body was. It was neat,
-don't get me wrong, but those warm pulses were growing stonger and some of them
-were causing anxiety to build up.
+I tuned out faer ramblings about how beautiful my body was. It was neat, but
+those warm pulses were growing stonger and so did some anxious ones and I did
+not want a panic attack right then and there.
-Anxiety that was threatening to burst into a full panic attack.
+Make a clean break.
-"I'll catch you later," I said, somewhat abruptly and awkwardly breaking the
-conversation short. "I need to find Lucere."
+"I'll catch you later I need to find Lucere."
-Fae nodded and pointed off toward the water. There were a few people lounging
-around. I figured one of them might be Lucere.
+Exit stage literally anywhere else.
-"Thanks," I said, then walked off toward the direction Xela had pointed.
+Fae nodded and pointed toward the water. There were a few people there and I
+figured one of them might be Lucere.
-A few people were in my path. Nobody I recognized, and I'd lost Eilidh on our
-way to the tent. My thoughts having left my body to find its own way. I'm
-sure she was somewhere, but I couldn't be sure where. Maybe she'd be with
-Lucere.
+"Thanks!" With that I walked right off in the please-don't-scare-me direction
+with a few people in my path. They were nobody I recognized and I'd lost
+Eilidh in my daydreaming on the way there. She was somewhere, no idea
+where, hopefully with Lucere.
-"Hey," a familiar voice greeted, "wasn't expecting to see you here."
+I was greeted by a familiar voice. "Hey, wasn't expecting to see you here."
I turned to see Tamaki smiling at me and gave her a nod.
-"You look lost," she said, notes of sympathy resonating in her voice, "anything
-I can help you with?"
+"You look lost," she said in notes of sympathy, "Anything I can help you with?"
-"How'd you recognize me?" I asked, admittedly curious.
+Curiousity took my larynx. "How'd you recognize me?"
"I've got alerts for when implants go into emergency mode," she replied, "I got
-a brief rundown of events, and saw the new avatar that was uploaded to your
-implant." She paused, noticing the worry on my face. "Only team members can
-upload new configurations when an implant fails like that, but I still have to
-see what was done in case one of our own in malicious."
+a brief rundown of events and saw the new avatar." She paused, apparently
+noticing the worry on my face. "Only team members can upload new configurations
+when an implant fails like that but I still have to see what was done in case
+one of our own in malicious."
-"No cause to believe that, I hope," I stated, asking a question really, but not
+"No cause to believe that I hope," I said, asking a question really, but not
wanting to ask that specific question directly.
-"We've had a few cases where demimages have been direct threats to team
-members' lives, but never any issues where anyone has uploaded faulty code,"
-she answered, "implants haven't failed all that frequently. Emergency mode on
-those things only happens once every few years across the whole network."
+She shook her head. "We've had a few cases where demimages directly threatened
+team members' lives, but never any issues where anyone has uploaded faulty
+code. Implants haven't failed all that frequently. Emergency mode on those
+things only happens once every few years across the whole network."
-"Oh," I giggled, "so I really fucked up then."
+I giggles. "Oh, so I really fucked up then."
-"Not really," she admitted, "normally the implant can use predictive analysis
-to analyse the DNA structures as their changing, but it appears that your DNA
-isn't registering as," a long pause.
+Again she shook her head and smiled. "Not really; nnormally the implant can use
+predictive analysis to analyse the DNA structures as they're changing, but it
+appears yours isn't registering as-"
-"As what?" I asked, concern pushing that anxiety closer to bursting through the
-copper walls of its boiler.
+A long pause.
-"Let me preface this by saying you are obviously a living person and we will
-always treat you as such," Tamaki said, a serious face accenting the words,
-"but your DNA no longer appears to be registering as human. We've had some of
-the genetics experts looking into it, but your DNA has a lot less in common
-with humans and a lot more in common with demons."
+"As what?" My anxiety swelled, catalyzed by concern. My inner boiler wasn't
+looking good.
-"Okay, so I'm no longer even human?" I asked. I was surprisingly calm about
-this. On the surface. Beneath the surface, the boiler popped. Violently. If
+Tamaki's voice grew serious. "Let me preface this by saying you are obviously
+a living person and we will always treat you as such, but your DNA no longer
+appears to be registering as human. We've had some of the genetics experts
+looking into it, but your DNA has a lot less in common with humans and a lot
+more with demons."
+
+"Okay, so I'm no longer even human?" On the surface I was surprisingly calm
+about this. Underneath, however... the boiler popped. Violently. If
I didn't find somewhere to be alone and fast, I'd be a mess in front of all
these people.
-"We're not entirely sure," she admitted, "we're looking into it. There's a lot
-overlap and a lot of fuzzy stuff. We're working on it."
+"We're not entirely sure," she admitted, "We're looking into it. There's a lot
+of overlap and a lot of fuzzy stuff. We're working on it."
-"Well fuck," I said in a manically sarcastic tone, "jeez, its not enough to
-dump gender and sexuality in your lap. Before you've had time to process that,
-let me also dump \emph{humanity} in your lap! And lets not forget the entire
-fucking concept of \emph{magic}, the rediculously advanced technology that
-you've implanted in my head \emph{without any warnings}, and the fact that you
-definitely forced me to sleep because I was lost in thought!"
+Manic sarcasm ensued. "Well fuck, jeez, its not enough to dump gender and
+sexuality in your lap; before you've had time to process that, let me also dump
+\emph{humanity} in your lap! And lets not forget the entire fucking concept of
+\emph{magic}, the ridiculously advanced technology that you've implanted in my
+head \emph{without any warnings}, and the fact that you definitely forced me to
+sleep because I was lost in thought!"
-Anxiety into rage? Very atypical. I'd lost it. My handle on reality was
-gone.
+System Error: Expected "Anxiety" object, received "Rage"
+Segmentation fault